When I Was in Love…
When I was in love, I was 19 years old. At that time in my city, girls were not as open as they are today. So, I was a ratter conservative person as well.
By the way, it doesn’t matter how old I was or where and when it happened, the important point is how love changed my life. How it affected me, my ideologies, emotions and understanding about what being in love is!
My Thoughts:
My head was occupied with thinking, dreaming and fantasizing about being with the person with whom I was in love. For example, I used to dream about moving to his house and living with his family.
My Behavior:
Whatever I did was related to him and his reactions, as if he knew what I was doing. For example, if I wanted to buy something, I thought about what he would think or like. I would try my best to fulfill his tastes and likes even though I didn’t know what exactly they were!
My Goals and Ambitious:
I promised myself to reach a level in education and society comparable to him. For example I decided to do my studies in the same university where he had his education.
My Emotions & Feelings:
I was emotionally unstable, I always felt insecure, rejected, fragile and unwanted. On the other hand, sometimes I felt like flying whenever there was a small chance of meeting him. I could not breathe comfortably whenever he was around.
Sometimes I felt extremely happy and sometimes deeply sad and lonely. When I had to meet him, I was extremely excited to the degree where my heart was racing and I couldn’t breathe. It was like my heart wanted to jump out of my chest.
When I couldn’t see him I was disappointed. I felt that there is no hope at all and that it was the end of the world. Sometimes, I couldn’t sleep, eat or do my daily activities properly due to my obsessive thoughts or feelings of loneliness and depression.
My Self-Confidence:
I had very low self-esteem and self-confidence. I was like a piece of broken glass which breaks down into smaller and smaller pieces after each incident. I felt rejected and that he didn’t love me or that he was criticizing me.
These exaggerated cycle continued for about two years. By the third year, I was feeling better in terms of emotional stability. But it was mostly temporary and once in a while, all those circumstances came back to me with similar symptoms.
After 10 Years
Oh, did I tell you? Although I was in love, it was a one-way street and I was in love with an imaginary person from a distance.
So, I was in love for nearly 10 years and getting over it was a very slow process for me. Though love sometimes sounds to be very destructive, mine was constructive in many ways. I will be analyzing and explaining this more in the next articles.
LOVE IS A SICKNESS !!!
Malihe, its very good that you look to that experience in a positive way.. by the way… i really think it was really difficult for u since it took 10 yearssss to forget.
I hope this would never happen to me..
Dear Hassan, It is right that addiction to Love is a sickness! But the way that we go through it and get over it is more important.
Dear Armin, The experience of Love is so beautiful. And I am very grateful to have experienced it.
Love is a sickness, but love is also can also be a treatment that will make some one well. i believe when you found the true love, you will have the feeling of being the most wonderful woman in the world….. be what you are and do not be someone want you to be.
Awesome are the thoughts of been in love and having loved someone
madly and all in all should be treasured,this is where emotions overflow and when it is no more then senses either fails or succeeds and life goes on.Only those who had felt LOVE = Live On Very Emotionally would be able to share with all feelings, thoughts etc awesomely.So keep it up u are great in sharing
how great and nice “being deeply in love” but i did never